What to bring to the doctor visit

Calm and concreteness are the two things that make a first consultation useful. The doctor sees the child for 20-30 minutes. The rest is what you tell and show.

Below is a preparation checklist. Not point by point obligatory. Pick what is relevant to your case.

Useful videos for the doctor

The most useful thing is short videos of real situations. Not staged. The doctor wants to see the child in a natural state.

• How the child responds to their name. Call 2-3 times from different points of the room.
• How they ask for help or want something.
• How they show or do not show what is interesting.
• How they play alone.
• How they play with an adult.
• How they transition between activities (for example, from a toy to lunch).

Each video is 30-60 seconds. No more is needed.

Developmental diary

This can be a note in your phone, a sheet in notes, or a file. No need to format nicely. The information matters, not the form.

• When the first words appeared. Which words exactly.
• Which gestures they use (pointing, waving, clapping).
• When they started to imitate.
• Whether there were any regressions. What exactly disappeared and when.
• In which situations the difficulties are most visible.
• What problems with sleep, food, anxiety, motor skills.
• What calms the child and what irritates them.

Documents

The basic set to bring.

• ID of one of the parents.
• Child's birth certificate.
• Available medical conclusions if there were already exams.
• Hospital discharge records if there were any.
• Vaccination card.

If there are previous consultations from other doctors, bring them. If there are observation notes from a caregiver or nanny, also useful.

Questions worth asking the doctor

Write them down in advance. At the appointment it is easy to forget what you wanted to ask.

• Which specific developmental signs concern you?
• Is it necessary to check hearing?
• Is a consultation with a child psychiatrist or neurologist needed?
• Which screening or developmental assessment is worth doing now?
• Is it possible to start speech therapy, early intervention, or rehabilitation support before a final diagnosis?
• Which services are available free of charge?
• Which documents are needed for IRC or educational support?
• When and with what to come back?

Do not be shy to ask clarifying questions. "I did not understand, can you explain again" is a normal phrase for any appointment.

How to describe concerns

The worst option is "something is wrong with her." The doctor will get little from this.

The best option is concrete facts.

Instead of "does not respond to name," say "out of three tries responds to maybe one, and only if I am close."

Instead of "speaks poorly," say "at 2 years 4 months speaks about 10 words, does not connect them into phrases."

Instead of "plays strangely," say "takes cars and lines them up, does not roll them, plays like this for 20-30 minutes."

The more concrete, the more accurate the assessment.

What is better not to do before the visit

• Do not "google the diagnosis." Self-checking through Instagram videos or blogger articles will more likely harm.
• Do not test the child at home (for example, "deliberately not respond to see how they react"). This creates stress and gives nothing.
• Do not bring the child to an early appointment hungry or sleepy. Their behavior will be atypical.

If the child has a hard time with medical visits

This is a common case. A few practical things.

• Bring a favorite toy or book.
• Explain to the child in advance where you are going and what will happen.
• If the child does not let themselves be examined, tell the doctor honestly. This is information too.
• Do not scare the child with "I will tell the doctor and they will give a shot." This destroys trust in medicine for years.

After the visit

Right after the visit, write down the key things for yourself. What the doctor said, what the next steps are, what referrals were given, when the next meeting is.

If there is a referral for screening or to a specialist, do not delay. Make an appointment the same day, before it gets lost.

And one last thing

The first appointment may not give a "final answer." This is normal. ASD is the case when accurate assessment requires time and several meetings. Your role is to bring the doctor concreteness, and then act according to the route.

You are on the right path.